The Web is alive with Steve Job tributes this week after his announcement to step down from his role as CEO.  This tribute is dedicated to remembering the lessons Mr. Jobs taught us from the stage.  The ultimate showman, Steve Jobs reminded us that technology should be fun, lovable, and filled with thrills and suspense.  Even now in 2011, few CEOs are brave enough to infuse his level of creativity and playfulness into their public appearances.

For those of us who are brave enough to learn them, here are the 5 Lessons Steve Jobs taught us from the bright lights of center stage.

1) The Art of Simplicity - In a world where speed talking has become a badge of intelligence, Steve Jobs chose a cadence and rhythm that was slow and thoughtful.  He was not afraid to pause, and give important words the space they needed to take root in our imaginations.  He showed us his genius not by dropping SAT words, or heavy technical jargon.  He used the ordinary to express the extraordinary.  One of my favorite clips that exemplifies this comes from his introduction of the new iPod Nano in 2009. When it comes time to talk about the Nano’s video camera, he resists the temptation to talk megapixels, and simply says, “How good is it? Turns out, it’s great.  Let me just show you…” and he proceeds to SHOW us a beautiful video.  Simple. Powerful. We all nod our heads and agree that this is the right way to present. We know the golden rule of “show me, don’t tell me,” but rarely – and I mean rarely – do we really hold ourselves to this standard.

2) Connect the Dots – In his now legendary Stanford Commencement Speech, Jobs talked about his fascination with topography and the art of font creation during college, which lead him to spend a semester in a calligraphy class.  He loved learning about the different type faces, and as he put it, he loved learning about “what makes great typography great.” Everyone thought he was crazy for wasting time on something so obtuse.  Later in life, he would infuse this delight into the Mac.  Without that curiosity and “cross training,” we might never have had different type faces in our personal computing lives.  It sounds small, but for those of us who live in the written word, it’s a pretty big deal (I love me some Garamond).

When things delight us in our personal lives and find their way into our work lives, invariably it makes our work better, and reveals a side of ourselves to people that they might not have otherwise seen.  Following our curiosity and infusing that delight into our work is part and parcel of being truly authentic and “present” to our profession of choice.

3) Keep it Beautiful – One of the defining characteristics of Steve as a presenter over the past several years has been the beauty and elegance of not only his blockbuster product line, but his presentations.  Sitting in the cool darkness of the Moscone Center during MacWorld, audiences were wooed by their elegant design. He painstakingly rehearsed each and every slide to commit his key thoughts to memory, freeing up the slides to do what they were meant to do: set the mood, paint a picture, or drive home a simple, repeatable piece of information.  How often do we take the easy way out, burdening our audiences with slides that look like Word documents? All bullets and words, and nothing for the eye to rest on.  Creating beautiful things takes time, care, precision… it is a labor of love.  Which brings me to….

4) Launches As Love Letters – You need only listen to the audio of a Jobs presentation to understand that Mac World Keynotes were love letters to Apple fans.  Thunderous applause and unabashed nerd worship were to Jobs Keynotes what drum circles and patchouli oil were to Dead shows.  This was not by accident.  The products Apple has so painstakingly designed over the years were never for Wall Street. They weren’t to show up competitors.  They were for one thing: thrilling and delighting us.  When Jobs was interviewed by Walt Mosserberg and Kara Swisher at the All Things D show, they asked him how he felt knowing that Apple’s market cap had surpassed that of Microsoft.  Jobs replied, “It’s surreal.  But it really doesn’t matter much.” This devotion to Apple fans influenced every staged appearance Jobs did (perhaps with the exception of one press conference).  The next time you take the stage, how might you make it an expression of respect, admiration and ultimately love for your audience?

5) Frame the Argument – As my lawyer friend always says to me, “She who frames the argument, wins the argument.”  When Steve Jobs was asked a pointed question about a controversial aspect of Apple’s business, he was incredibly adept at reframing the argument on his own terms in a way that was seamless, authentic, and frankly, hard to argue with.  My favorite example comes, once again, from his interview with Mossberg and Swisher.  Mossberg broaches the subject of his letter, “Thoughts on Flash” that was written in response to the hue and cry surrounding Apple’s decision to not support Flash.  Mossberg was framing the issue as “Isn’t it bad for consumers who want the entire web? Aren’t you limiting their choices?”  Effectively, Jobs reframes the issue away from “consumer choice” to “creating the best possible experience for consumers,” two very different approaches.  In Jobs’s argument, technology products are “packets of emphasis,” and that as a company, they choose their emphases carefully, all in the name of creating the best possible consumer experience.  Flash didn’t live up to Apple’s standards, so they nixed it.  And guess what, “If people don’t like it, they won’t buy it! And if they do, they will!”  And what does the audience do? Erupts in applause.  So much for worrying about “consumer choice.”  Steve Jobs re-framed the argument, and won the argument.

To me, Steve Jobs will always be the ultimate Willy Wonka CEO.  Sure, behind the scenes he was prone to occasional outbursts of anger or confrontation, but at the end of the day, it was all about making the most exciting, surprising, delicious candy possible to the delight of children around the world.  Thank you, Steve Jobs, for ruthlessly focusing on that which would make our eyes sparkle, and our pulses quicken.

Now for those of you saying, “But I’m not ‘changing the world!’ I’m presenting on our market strategy. How can watching TED clips possibly help me?”  Excellent question.  Here’s what you can glean from each of these fantastic speakers.

1)      The Power of Self Deprecation : Dan Pink – For anyone who has to give presentations, one of the hardest things is to decide “where do I begin?”  I love studying how people “launch” their talks, and I love how self deprecating and funny Mr. Pink is in his intro.  We are more than willing to go with him on this journey because he has shown his own humanity, vulnerability – and that is the key to “connection.”  No one likes a presenter who seems to know all the answers all the time.  What we may think of as “having it together” may come across to the audience as “thinks he/she knows it all.” And really, who wants to spend time listening to some blowhard that knows everything?  I also LOVE how wound up he gets as he makes his case.  Dan Pink knows how to use his physical space as well… check out how he moves to punctuate each point. For him this is pure instinct, but for those of us who need to work on movement as we present, he is a damn good example to follow. (Another great example along these lines is Jamie Oliver delivering his TED Prize Wish.)

2)      Data Doesn’t Have to Be Painful : Hans Rosling – If you are a TED junkie as I am, you’ve probably seen this talk more than once.  Dr. Rosling takes a topic (infant mortality in developing nations) and makes it bearable, and incredibly interesting.  His presentation of statistics shows that not only can stats be interesting, even the grimmest of topics can harness the power of humor.  If Hans Rosling can bring this kind of energy to the double whammy of statistics (boring) and infant death (tragic), then what can you do with your stats?
3)  Relevance is Everything : Jill Tarter – One of golden rules of presenting is this: Make the content relevant.  Sounds obvious, but you would be shocked at how infrequently this happens.  In this TED prize winning speech, Dr. Tarter makes the search for extraterrestrial life relevant to us, here and now.  Ask yourself, “What do I need to say to make this content hit home for every single person in this room?”  Dr. Tarter does this in spades, and in such a poetic, lyrical way. Combine that with a pitch perfect pace of delivery, and you have magic on stage.

4) Push Your Audience : Sam Richards – You will either love this “Radical Empathy” experiment, or you will HATE it.  Either way you slice it, this is storytelling at its best, and is a marvelous example of pushing an audience.  Watch how he draws in the crowd.  You could hear a pin drop.  Ask yourself, “What might I say or do to push the audience into new territory? To make them lean forward?  How can I create suspense and drama with this material?” And don’t tell me your material isn’t dramatic.  Everything has tension, conflict, challenge. If it didn’t, you wouldn’t be working on it.

5)  Humor as a Teaching Device : Sir Ken Robinson – What I love most about this talk is Robinson’s sense of humor.  If you pay close attention, you will see that the rhythm of his content is this: Tell a funny story, then lay some BIG truth on the audience.  Humor + Meaty Content. Repeat.  The reason this is so powerful is that our brains love novelty. Humor is a form of novelty. (For those who aren’t funny, there are other options. Call me and we can discuss;).  By starting each “big message” with a funny story, our brains snap back to attention if they’ve wandered.  We are now ready to absorb a new piece of information.  For those of you thinking, “I don’t have time for funny stories… I have too much content to deliver.” Well, here are your options: Deliver ALL of your content, and lose the audience OR deliver FEWER points, but make sure the audience GETS it.  You decide which is waste of your time. *Important safety tip: “Novelty” or “Humor” has to be done in good taste. We are all adults here, so I’m sure you can decide what is ok and not ok.

The next time you get called to talk to a group, remember how precious that opportunity is and plan accordingly.  Cross train.  Don’t just think about the content from the narrow confines of your company, your department, your experiences.  Get a taste of what is possible at a grand scale like TED, and then use that burst of creativity to do something in your own world.  Godspeed, and let me know how it goes.

There is quite a lot I could say about the Oscars last night, but I’ll spare you my commentary except to say that the bright spots were the Leena Horne quote (“It’s not the load that breaks you, it’s the way you carry it.”) and Jude Law + Robert Downey Jr as co-presenters.  Enough said.

What I continue to marvel at is the abundance of lame acceptance speeches.  The Oscar team was prescient that this year would be among the worst, and it pieced together a “top 3” list of best speeches of all time, just to ease our suffering.

In case the future holds an Oscar for you, here are some things we, the audience, wish you would consider:

Remember Who’s Out There. Yes, you’re surrounded by the who’s who of Hollywood film making, but you’re also surrounded by over 40 million every day people watching you on their TVs. Think about that: 40 MILLION minds tuned into you and your award.  That’s powerful stuff.  If just a few hundred thousand inspired people can topple a brutal, autocratic regime in Egypt, certainly 40 million people could be moved in some positive way by your words.  Need a great example? Milk Screenwriter, Dustin Lance Black left a lasting impression with his powerful acceptance speech in 2009.

Don’t Let Superstition Make You Sucky. Many people think, “if I practice and take this seriously, it’ll jinx my chances.”  Unless you also carry around voodoo dolls and tarot cards, this makes no sense.  Decide up front what you want to accomplish during your speech. If that answer is “nothing” then fine.  But know that you are missing a golden opportunity to show the world who you are, what you care about, and why your film/role mattered.  And if you’re saying, “But what about spontaneity??” I’m all for it.  Allow yourself 5 seconds to have your “freak out” moment, and then get back to your plan.  Sound strict? It’s your career for the love of God.  You need to manage that 1 minute as tightly as any press junket you’ve ever been involved in.  Sandra Bullock absolutely nailed her acceptance speech last year, and showed what a talented, articulate, self possessed woman she really is – much to the surprise of many, given her low calorie movie roles prior to The Blind Side.

Thanks but No Thanks. As much as we, the audience, loathe hearing a laundry list of people to thank, we will tolerate a few shout outs if you keep it quick.  Randy Newman got this almost right, but lingered a bit too long. Write a list, bring it with you if you have to, and make sure it takes up no more than 5 – 7 seconds (note: a cheat sheet is only ok for reading off names).  5 full beats is a lot, and you can squeeze a lot in there, and still keep us in our seats instead of going to the kitchen for more Girl Scout cookies. Use the balance of time to say something important.  Or funny.  Please.  We beg of you. (And dropping the F-bomb is a little naughty, but it’s really not all that interesting.)

Self Deprecation is Always Welcome.  But don’t be dull about it. We’ve all heard the “I can’t believe my name is up there with all of these amazing actors…” bit.  Make it interesting. “I’m afraid my career has just peaked,” said Colin Firth as he accepted his well deserved Oscar, and reminded us that it is possible to be witty, self deprecating and fresh at the same time.

For those of us who aren’t up for Oscars, we can all use a reminder from time to time that even when it’s “all about us,” it’s really not.  It’s all about the audience and knowing how to use your 15 minutes of fame in way that people remember… and hopefully in a good way.



(Post originally ran on Business Insider)

Maybe it’s the holiday rush or maybe I just didn’t get my usual coffee doses today, but I’m annoyed by some minor league antics I’m seeing on the conference circuit this Fall/Winter.

I have seen many presentations at various events since September (some streaming, some in person), and continue to be shocked by the idiotic public speaking mistakes we continue to make – even at the highest levels of leadership. Even by the people who should know better.

So, like the Ghost of Christmas Future, I am pointing my cold, bony finger at the Graveyard of Crappy Presentations, and showing your name etched in stone, unless you heed my advice and fix these five silly mistakes. You are better than this.

1) We open an existing deck, and “Save As… New Preso.”

When we get that call to speak to a group, it is incredibly tempting to pop open an existing deck. After all, we have day jobs, or at least other duties that occupy the majority of our time. Who has time to start from scratch?? Here’s the thing: I’m not saying you can’t go back and tap previous resources once you’ve determined the right course, but for God’s sake, at least TRY to start with a fresh concept.

If we have the audience’s needs as the TOP priority, we will take a moment to think, “What do these people need to know? How can I help them do their jobs better? Teach them something new in a way that is unexpected?” You don’t get good answers to those questions by staring at an existing deck. Plus, the audience can tell when you’re recycling, even if it’s just subconsciously. It’s a little insulting.

2) We take our first ideas and figure they’re good enough.

Many times, we have a good think for 15 minutes, scribble down our ideas and think “great, I’ve got the basics nailed.” Often I find that when I’m working with clients, the best ideas come after I’ve pushed a bit and said, “But how many times have we heard that and from how many other people? Tell me something I haven’t heard before. Or give me a new twist.” A good rule of thumb is to come up with a first set of ideas/points, and then push yourself further. Assume it’s been done before, and go deeper. What else can you come up with?  These ideas are usually far better than the first batch.

3) We “tell ‘em what we’re gonna tell ‘em, we tell ‘em and then we tell ‘em what we told ‘em.”

At some point, we have all heard this advice about public speaking  I’m here to tell you, this advice is, as my wise mother once said, “as useless as tits on a boar hog.”  (Why tits are actually useless to this species of hog, I cannot say, but you know what I mean). Audiences want desperately for you to get to the point. Cut to the chase. Give ‘em something they can dance to. You have about 10 seconds to grab ‘em before they decide whether or not to check e-mail. During those 10 seconds, you can yammer on about what your goals are, or you can ask them a provocative question. Create some level of theater. Create tension. Tell an interesting story that shocks or surprises them. But for the Lova God, don’t tell them that you’ll cover “three key points: A, B, and C” unless you do so in a way that is cool, unexpected and interesting.

4) We make assumptions about how much time we have.

Too often, we assume that we’ll get 45 minutes to talk. Or 20 minutes.  And then we fail to find out for sure what we’re dealing with. Then, even if we do find out, we don’t actually time ourselves and practice.  Then we have a situation where we are literally presenting the wrong deck for the format. People get squirmy. The conference managers get embarrassed and more stressed out than they already are, and are forced with the horrible decision to either pull the plug on you, or let you run roughshod over their schedule that they’ve lovingly crafted over several weeks.  Take the drama out of the equation, find out what you’ve got to work with, and make it work.

5) We end with a fizzle.

I recently saw a speaker that had a phenomenal presentation.  It was shocking, theatrical, exciting, and deeply informative.  And it ended with “So that’s all I have for you today. Thank you!”  Wait, WHAT?!  Get back here.  Climax always should lead to Resolution. And a powerful Resolution at that.  We have to put as much thought into the ending as we do the beginning and middle.  It’s our last chance to impress the audience, and it says a lot about the speaker.

Doing these things does take extra time, I admit.  But any chance we get to talk to a captive audience should be treated as sacred space.  When people take time out of their day to listen to us, we have the responsibility to make it worth their while.

The bonus is that if we do a good job, and blow their overstretched, multitasking minds, it will be the first of many more opportunities we get to present, influence and inform. And that’s good for everyone’s career right?

(Originally ran on Business Insider on September 15th)

Perhaps like you, I’ve been a bit curious about this situation with femme fatale sports caster Ines Sainz and her recent issues with alleged sexual harassment in the Jets locker room.

What is triggering my interest is not the question of women in the locker room (not going there, thank you).  It is the issue of how we, as women, choose to present ourselves professionally.  Granted, Ms. Sainz is an extreme example – I mean how many of us have bikini shots up on our LinkedIn profile?

But let me first go on record: The way a woman dresses may be a serious lapse in judgment, but it does not make sexual harassment acceptable.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I think we can agree that many, many women make the choice to “lead” with their sexuality at work by dressing a certain way.  And by “lead” I mean that by dressing a certain way, they make a very sexy first impression.  For some women, it gives a false sense of power and a false sense of control over the room.   For others, it’s hardly a choice they make with full awareness… they are simply a product of their upbringing, or the media environment we live in.  Many times they just haven’t had the guidance.

Regardless, once you have branded yourself as “sexy” the road to “credible” is long, painful and difficult.

But What About Self Expression?

Many young women I’ve worked with in the past have said, “But this is who I am! I’m expressing myself honestly… isn’t that what you always teach us to do?”  To this I say: Let’s give ourselves a bit more credit, shall we?

Who we truly are is not something as superficial as a low neckline or high hemline.  Who we are goes much deeper than that, and when we lead with our sexuality, it sends a message that there ain’t much else there.

One very bright, accomplished woman I worked with said that she loved the rush of being “checked out” in meetings, only to wow the room with her insights, intelligence and experience.  The problem here is the underlying message that “it’s about me, and how I feel.”

Any good presenter knows that success comes when you are in devotion to the audience needs first.  Not the other way around.  Leading with our sexuality, or our fashion flamboyance, can send a message of self-absorption and a complete lack of awareness and respect for the people around us.

Know the Game You’re Playing

On the flip side, many women have made great careers for themselves by leading with their sexy side.  I don’t mean to judge them, or discredit their success.  But I am saying that we need to take responsibility for what game we’re playing.  If we lead with sexy, then sexy is what we’ll get. For better or worse.

The good news for those who take this path? Sex does sell.  And Sainz is having a pretty great run as a Mexican sportscaster, and her notoriety in the U.S. is soaring.  I predict a Letterman interview and a Playboy offer within the month.  Heck, if she keeps up the publicity, I see an Entourage cameo in her future.

Would she be taken seriously in a nightly news setting here in the U.S.? Not on your life. But I would surmise that Sainz has no interest in that path. She knows the game she’s playing, and she’s doing her thing.

But we shouldn’t for a second fool ourselves into thinking we can have it both ways.  Overtly sexy does not go hand in hand with serious creditability.

So the question we have to ask ourselves is, if we choose not to lead with our sexuality, what are we leading with?  And thus begins the hard work of true self expression.

B

Be Authentic, Connect With Your Audience: Presentation Lessons From Gary Vaynerchuk

From watching Gizmodo’s live blogging coverage from today’s event at Apple’s HQs, it seems that things went a little sideways.  No, there were no technical glitches, or streakers across the stage, but somehow, the usually invincible presenter Steve Jobs struck a sour note with many of the folks in the room.

From the get-go, things weren’t exactly as they could have been.  From what I undertand, Apple rolled the YouTube video The Antennae song as a warm up, just before the press conference began.

If you haven’t seen it, it is yet another video of an average looking white guy bustin’ some hip hop skills, and basically delivering the message that this antennae issue is really no big deal, and if you don’t like the iPhone 4, don’t buy it. If you bought and you don’t like it, return it.

Playing Defense

As anyone who is worked with me can tell you, my broken record message is this: “First, serve the needs of the audience.”  Typically, when we see Steve take the stage, Apple’s needs and the audience’s needs are one and the same – everyone wants to get excited about the newest jewel in the Apple crown.  And when those two needs are in alignment, Jobs soars as a communicator.

This morning, the needs of the audience  – the press and consumers like me tuning into the live blog coverage – and the needs of the Apple executives were decidedly at odds.  The Audience/Press needed to know a) what was causing the problem and b) what Apple was doing to fix it.

Apple’s needs were to a) defend themselves and b) show how few people were actually experiencing this service issue.

Which way did Steve take it?  Unfortunately, he put the needs of Apple first.  The result?  He came off as defensive, and victim-like – why pick on us??  By the time he finally got around to proclaiming his love and concern for Apple customers, people were already pretty turned off.

The sad thing is that you would be hard pressed to find a CEO who cares more about his customers than Steve Jobs.

If Jobs had flipped the order of his comments, it would have made a big difference. Would it have been perfect? No.  But it would have established that the consumer comes first, and that ONE devoted Apple customer affected by crappy service is one too many.  By owning that, we the audience would have been far more open to hearing the logic behind the cause of the problems, and the relatively small impact it has had on the majority of users.

What can the rest of us learn?

For anyone in the media relations game, there is a very important lesson to be learned here.  Never make someone else “wrong.”  Steve Jobs made the press “wrong” for blowing the service issues out of proportion and for picking on Apple.

Whenever we make someone “wrong” we close down the lines of communication.  Does it mean we can’t feel hurt or upset or angry? No. In fact, we have to give ourselves room to feel all of those things. But we need to avoid acting from those places, especially when we go on record in front of an audience.

What he could have done was consider this: While it is true that it must feel like Apple is under siege at times, it is also true that most press believe that their job is to look at/uncover controversy and expose the truth.

If Jobs had been able to see this as less a personal attack, and more a professional obligation on the part of the press, he might have been less defensive. It might have freed him up to first address the fact that Apple cares DEEPLY about any problems their customers experience.  Then he could have gone into detail about the whys and the fixes.

Instead, it felt like, “It’s really not a big deal, but we’ll give you a free cover if that will make you happy.”

The beauty of learning this skill is that it extends into every human interaction we have.  Try it and you’ll see. The next time your spouse blows up at you for something you don’t agree with, try putting aside your needs for a moment, and focus completely on understanding his/her perspective, and meeting that need. Chances are, your spouse will be more willing to hear your side of the story.

You may even get lucky.

Having seen the roadshow “decks” that people continue to trot out to investors, it’s shocking anyone gets any money at all.

Take a gander and enjoy!

B

How To Prepare For Your IPO Roadshow

Right now, I’m seeing an awful lot of interest in coaching as it applies to the simple task of meetings – clearly communicating your points, and leveraging them as an opportunity to convey executive presence.

People are beginning to sense that He/She who holds our attention, respects our time, and our needs for information and interaction is he/she who gets promoted.

So in the unlikely event that we can only blame ourselves for crappy meetings, let’s “be the change we want to see in the world,” as Ghandi said, and take this challenge together.

Try these 5 tips to making meetings less hideous (Ghandi would do it):

1.  Be Present: There is no such thing as multitasking.** This is a heartbreaker for those of us who live on conference calls, but it is true: As John Medina the brilliant author of Brain Rules teaches us, “the attentional part of the brain is simply not capable of multi-tasking.” In other words, the part of the brain we use to pay attention to something is only able to focus on one thing, sequentially, at a time.

Given that I have ADD myself, this is probably the hardest tip for me.  If it’s helpful, here’s what I do to channel boredom:

• Turn off the computer (or at least put it to sleep).
• Take notes, and when someone is rambling, try and find a thread of logic that explains what path they’re rambling down and why they may be rambling that way.  Note the emotion or lack thereof.  Tune in as carefully as possible to both the content of the ramble and the emotion behind it. It’s truly fascinating, and gives you great insights for later if you need to clarify something he or she said.
• Doodle.  According to a study highlighted in this recent article in Time Magazine, it turns out that “doodlers actually remember more than nondoodlers when asked to retain tediously delivered information, like, say, during a boring meeting or a lecture.” Amen brother.  So feel free.  Just make sure it’s G-rated.   Just sayin’.

** There is an exception to this rule. Some companies have a meeting culture that requires that its employees be in meetings from 8am to 6pm, daily.  In these special circumstances, you have my blessing to multitask, as you really have no other choice if you want to have a life.  But just realize that the quality of your work will suffer. Small price to pay for getting home in time to tuck your kids into bed, right?

2.  WTF Are We Doing Here?

Recently, I interviewed Aliza Hutchison, Director, Strategic Communications at Cisco, because I hear wonderful things about Cisco’s approach to management, meetings and all things collaboration.

Aliza explained that at Cisco, they coach their executives and leaders to establish the kind of meeting they’re having from the outset.  “When you work and lead in a collaborative environment, you have to be very specific about how you want to engage with team members, otherwise a whole lot of time can be wasted in meetings.”

According to Aliza, at Cisco, there are three types – Inform, Engage and Exchange.

Inform meetings are all about the leader conveying information with limited interaction.  Sometimes, that’s just the kind of meeting you gotta have. Tell your audience what’s up, answer questions, and move on.

Engage meetings are those that require some level of inform + interaction with attendees.

Exchange meetings are for brainstorming.

By knowing exactly what kind of meeting you’re hosting or attending, you immediately establish just how much yappin’ is appropriate. This may seem simple, but it has powerful implications for how people’s precious time is utilized.

3. What’s My Role?

Too often we either overstep our roles in meetings by weighing in on things that aren’t appropriate, or we don’t step up enough to offer guidance, opinions or suggestions out of fear and uncertainty.

If you don’t know what your role is, or what is expected of you in a meeting, find out.  No one will fault you for clarifying your role. As a bonus, the person calling the meeting may realize that you don’t need to join after all. Score!

As Aliza said so very wisely during our conversation, “Know yourself. If your role is X and you start commenting about Y, stop yourself.  If you feel you have something really helpful to say, exchange once. And then let it be.”

Once you have established your goal, I strongly recommend asking yourself, “What does success look like for me in this conversation?” Then ask “What does this group need from me? What do they need to remember?”  Write down the few items you need to convey (keep it brief), and make sure you hit those points.

Sound basic? How many times have you left a conference call only to realize you forgot to ask something critical?

4. Conflict Happens.

All of us have been there. The nightmare meeting that becomes a shouting match, or a quietly contentious discussion that leaves everyone’s heart rate elevated.  Noisy or quiet, these kinds of exchanges can poison our work efforts for days and weeks.  After all, it’s no secret that stress impacts our ability to think creatively and perform well.  Regardless, conflict is a given in this lifetime, and we can only worry about what we can control – our own reactions.

So the next time you find yourself at odds with someone else, here’s a crazy tip:

Put your agenda/position aside for just a few moments, and try to understand the other person’s perspective completely.

By listening with empathy (not sympathy, empathy), and fully understanding someone else’s position and motivation, you are far more able to meet them, and offer solutions or compromises that meet their needs as well as yours.

As Stephen Covey says in his legendary book 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, “Sympathy is a form of agreement, a judgment. The essence of empathic listening is not that you agree with someone; it’s that you fully understand him, emotionally and intellectually.”

Mysteriously, when we fully listen and empathize using paraphrasing and clarifying techniques, it takes the sting out of criticisms, and softens us to creative ideas for compromise.

5. Enjoy  the Process.

As Aliza said during our conversation, “Ultimately, we have to enjoy the process of getting better at communicating – in meetings and beyond.  If someone doesn’t understand where I’m coming from, I ask myself, ‘how can I make this interesting or fun for them?’  By making our journey more about the process and not about simply getting what we want out of people, it becomes a lot more interesting.”

Sounds like great advice for life in general, doesn’t it?  But that’s another posting for another day.

Are you up to the dare?  Let me know how it goes!

In what may be the best anti-PowerPoint rant I’ve seen yet (THANK YOU @nchsmith for sending it my way), Jon Stewart takes a moment to examine the US Military’s strategy in Afghanistan via the PowerPoint slide presented to General McChrystal when he took over 10 months ago.

My favorite part of Stewart’s rant is when he runs through several iconic “inspirational speeches” (scenes from Patton, Star Wars, Braveheart) showing PowerPoint’s VITAL role in each.  It is hilarious and true, and gets to the heart of why I am so busy these days.  PowerPoint doesn’t move people to take action.  People do.  And while yes, some people are more convincing, compelling and magnetic than others, EVERYONE has the ability to hold an audience’s attention with the right tools and techniques.

For too long, PowerPoint has been the ultimate CYA device.  We figure, if we pour every piece of information we know into a slide, everyone is satisfied. The boss. The customer. The partner. The colleage. Right?  Maybe. But we’ve now also bored the audience to the point of catatonic stupor.

Thankfully, blessedly, there is a not-so-quiet movement toward understanding the real art of storytelling, and how our brains receive, process and recall information.  PowerPoint is extremely helpful if used properly (see article in iMedia), but ultimately, YOU are the main attraction. You and your ability to package information in a way that is memorable, repeatable, and dare I say… enjoyable.

In certain situations, PowerPoint is a wonderful tool to help create a mood, or make a visual impression. In other situations, you are far better served by conversation and interaction.  Unfortunately, people feel incredibly exposed when they go rogue, and fly without a deck.  As one person told me recently, “I may be boring, but I won’t get fired over a PowerPoint with text on it.  I might do some serious damage if I try and go too far afield with presenting.”

Well, fair enough.  Rome wasn’t built in a day.  But surely there are low risk situations where you can prep your superiors ahead of time that you’d like to try something more “brain friendly” for the audience.  Give it a shot.  Solicit people’s feedback.  I can almost guarantee you’ll enjoy the process, and worst case, you can always go back to your original Slide-ument style (Garr Reynold’s word, not mine).

But I predict that once you start down this path, you will begin to make a name for yourself as someone who “gets it” and has increasing “presence” within your organization.

Good luck, and let me know how it goes!