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Be Authentic, Connect With Your Audience: Presentation Lessons From Gary Vaynerchuk

From watching Gizmodo’s live blogging coverage from today’s event at Apple’s HQs, it seems that things went a little sideways.  No, there were no technical glitches, or streakers across the stage, but somehow, the usually invincible presenter Steve Jobs struck a sour note with many of the folks in the room.

From the get-go, things weren’t exactly as they could have been.  From what I undertand, Apple rolled the YouTube video The Antennae song as a warm up, just before the press conference began.

If you haven’t seen it, it is yet another video of an average looking white guy bustin’ some hip hop skills, and basically delivering the message that this antennae issue is really no big deal, and if you don’t like the iPhone 4, don’t buy it. If you bought and you don’t like it, return it.

Playing Defense

As anyone who is worked with me can tell you, my broken record message is this: “First, serve the needs of the audience.”  Typically, when we see Steve take the stage, Apple’s needs and the audience’s needs are one and the same – everyone wants to get excited about the newest jewel in the Apple crown.  And when those two needs are in alignment, Jobs soars as a communicator.

This morning, the needs of the audience  – the press and consumers like me tuning into the live blog coverage – and the needs of the Apple executives were decidedly at odds.  The Audience/Press needed to know a) what was causing the problem and b) what Apple was doing to fix it.

Apple’s needs were to a) defend themselves and b) show how few people were actually experiencing this service issue.

Which way did Steve take it?  Unfortunately, he put the needs of Apple first.  The result?  He came off as defensive, and victim-like – why pick on us??  By the time he finally got around to proclaiming his love and concern for Apple customers, people were already pretty turned off.

The sad thing is that you would be hard pressed to find a CEO who cares more about his customers than Steve Jobs.

If Jobs had flipped the order of his comments, it would have made a big difference. Would it have been perfect? No.  But it would have established that the consumer comes first, and that ONE devoted Apple customer affected by crappy service is one too many.  By owning that, we the audience would have been far more open to hearing the logic behind the cause of the problems, and the relatively small impact it has had on the majority of users.

What can the rest of us learn?

For anyone in the media relations game, there is a very important lesson to be learned here.  Never make someone else “wrong.”  Steve Jobs made the press “wrong” for blowing the service issues out of proportion and for picking on Apple.

Whenever we make someone “wrong” we close down the lines of communication.  Does it mean we can’t feel hurt or upset or angry? No. In fact, we have to give ourselves room to feel all of those things. But we need to avoid acting from those places, especially when we go on record in front of an audience.

What he could have done was consider this: While it is true that it must feel like Apple is under siege at times, it is also true that most press believe that their job is to look at/uncover controversy and expose the truth.

If Jobs had been able to see this as less a personal attack, and more a professional obligation on the part of the press, he might have been less defensive. It might have freed him up to first address the fact that Apple cares DEEPLY about any problems their customers experience.  Then he could have gone into detail about the whys and the fixes.

Instead, it felt like, “It’s really not a big deal, but we’ll give you a free cover if that will make you happy.”

The beauty of learning this skill is that it extends into every human interaction we have.  Try it and you’ll see. The next time your spouse blows up at you for something you don’t agree with, try putting aside your needs for a moment, and focus completely on understanding his/her perspective, and meeting that need. Chances are, your spouse will be more willing to hear your side of the story.

You may even get lucky.

Having seen the roadshow “decks” that people continue to trot out to investors, it’s shocking anyone gets any money at all.

Take a gander and enjoy!

B

How To Prepare For Your IPO Roadshow

Right now, I’m seeing an awful lot of interest in coaching as it applies to the simple task of meetings – clearly communicating your points, and leveraging them as an opportunity to convey executive presence.

People are beginning to sense that He/She who holds our attention, respects our time, and our needs for information and interaction is he/she who gets promoted.

So in the unlikely event that we can only blame ourselves for crappy meetings, let’s “be the change we want to see in the world,” as Ghandi said, and take this challenge together.

Try these 5 tips to making meetings less hideous (Ghandi would do it):

1.  Be Present: There is no such thing as multitasking.** This is a heartbreaker for those of us who live on conference calls, but it is true: As John Medina the brilliant author of Brain Rules teaches us, “the attentional part of the brain is simply not capable of multi-tasking.” In other words, the part of the brain we use to pay attention to something is only able to focus on one thing, sequentially, at a time.

Given that I have ADD myself, this is probably the hardest tip for me.  If it’s helpful, here’s what I do to channel boredom:

• Turn off the computer (or at least put it to sleep).
• Take notes, and when someone is rambling, try and find a thread of logic that explains what path they’re rambling down and why they may be rambling that way.  Note the emotion or lack thereof.  Tune in as carefully as possible to both the content of the ramble and the emotion behind it. It’s truly fascinating, and gives you great insights for later if you need to clarify something he or she said.
• Doodle.  According to a study highlighted in this recent article in Time Magazine, it turns out that “doodlers actually remember more than nondoodlers when asked to retain tediously delivered information, like, say, during a boring meeting or a lecture.” Amen brother.  So feel free.  Just make sure it’s G-rated.   Just sayin’.

** There is an exception to this rule. Some companies have a meeting culture that requires that its employees be in meetings from 8am to 6pm, daily.  In these special circumstances, you have my blessing to multitask, as you really have no other choice if you want to have a life.  But just realize that the quality of your work will suffer. Small price to pay for getting home in time to tuck your kids into bed, right?

2.  WTF Are We Doing Here?

Recently, I interviewed Aliza Hutchison, Director, Strategic Communications at Cisco, because I hear wonderful things about Cisco’s approach to management, meetings and all things collaboration.

Aliza explained that at Cisco, they coach their executives and leaders to establish the kind of meeting they’re having from the outset.  “When you work and lead in a collaborative environment, you have to be very specific about how you want to engage with team members, otherwise a whole lot of time can be wasted in meetings.”

According to Aliza, at Cisco, there are three types – Inform, Engage and Exchange.

Inform meetings are all about the leader conveying information with limited interaction.  Sometimes, that’s just the kind of meeting you gotta have. Tell your audience what’s up, answer questions, and move on.

Engage meetings are those that require some level of inform + interaction with attendees.

Exchange meetings are for brainstorming.

By knowing exactly what kind of meeting you’re hosting or attending, you immediately establish just how much yappin’ is appropriate. This may seem simple, but it has powerful implications for how people’s precious time is utilized.

3. What’s My Role?

Too often we either overstep our roles in meetings by weighing in on things that aren’t appropriate, or we don’t step up enough to offer guidance, opinions or suggestions out of fear and uncertainty.

If you don’t know what your role is, or what is expected of you in a meeting, find out.  No one will fault you for clarifying your role. As a bonus, the person calling the meeting may realize that you don’t need to join after all. Score!

As Aliza said so very wisely during our conversation, “Know yourself. If your role is X and you start commenting about Y, stop yourself.  If you feel you have something really helpful to say, exchange once. And then let it be.”

Once you have established your goal, I strongly recommend asking yourself, “What does success look like for me in this conversation?” Then ask “What does this group need from me? What do they need to remember?”  Write down the few items you need to convey (keep it brief), and make sure you hit those points.

Sound basic? How many times have you left a conference call only to realize you forgot to ask something critical?

4. Conflict Happens.

All of us have been there. The nightmare meeting that becomes a shouting match, or a quietly contentious discussion that leaves everyone’s heart rate elevated.  Noisy or quiet, these kinds of exchanges can poison our work efforts for days and weeks.  After all, it’s no secret that stress impacts our ability to think creatively and perform well.  Regardless, conflict is a given in this lifetime, and we can only worry about what we can control – our own reactions.

So the next time you find yourself at odds with someone else, here’s a crazy tip:

Put your agenda/position aside for just a few moments, and try to understand the other person’s perspective completely.

By listening with empathy (not sympathy, empathy), and fully understanding someone else’s position and motivation, you are far more able to meet them, and offer solutions or compromises that meet their needs as well as yours.

As Stephen Covey says in his legendary book 7 Habits of Highly Successful People, “Sympathy is a form of agreement, a judgment. The essence of empathic listening is not that you agree with someone; it’s that you fully understand him, emotionally and intellectually.”

Mysteriously, when we fully listen and empathize using paraphrasing and clarifying techniques, it takes the sting out of criticisms, and softens us to creative ideas for compromise.

5. Enjoy  the Process.

As Aliza said during our conversation, “Ultimately, we have to enjoy the process of getting better at communicating – in meetings and beyond.  If someone doesn’t understand where I’m coming from, I ask myself, ‘how can I make this interesting or fun for them?’  By making our journey more about the process and not about simply getting what we want out of people, it becomes a lot more interesting.”

Sounds like great advice for life in general, doesn’t it?  But that’s another posting for another day.

Are you up to the dare?  Let me know how it goes!

In what may be the best anti-PowerPoint rant I’ve seen yet (THANK YOU @nchsmith for sending it my way), Jon Stewart takes a moment to examine the US Military’s strategy in Afghanistan via the PowerPoint slide presented to General McChrystal when he took over 10 months ago.

My favorite part of Stewart’s rant is when he runs through several iconic “inspirational speeches” (scenes from Patton, Star Wars, Braveheart) showing PowerPoint’s VITAL role in each.  It is hilarious and true, and gets to the heart of why I am so busy these days.  PowerPoint doesn’t move people to take action.  People do.  And while yes, some people are more convincing, compelling and magnetic than others, EVERYONE has the ability to hold an audience’s attention with the right tools and techniques.

For too long, PowerPoint has been the ultimate CYA device.  We figure, if we pour every piece of information we know into a slide, everyone is satisfied. The boss. The customer. The partner. The colleage. Right?  Maybe. But we’ve now also bored the audience to the point of catatonic stupor.

Thankfully, blessedly, there is a not-so-quiet movement toward understanding the real art of storytelling, and how our brains receive, process and recall information.  PowerPoint is extremely helpful if used properly (see article in iMedia), but ultimately, YOU are the main attraction. You and your ability to package information in a way that is memorable, repeatable, and dare I say… enjoyable.

In certain situations, PowerPoint is a wonderful tool to help create a mood, or make a visual impression. In other situations, you are far better served by conversation and interaction.  Unfortunately, people feel incredibly exposed when they go rogue, and fly without a deck.  As one person told me recently, “I may be boring, but I won’t get fired over a PowerPoint with text on it.  I might do some serious damage if I try and go too far afield with presenting.”

Well, fair enough.  Rome wasn’t built in a day.  But surely there are low risk situations where you can prep your superiors ahead of time that you’d like to try something more “brain friendly” for the audience.  Give it a shot.  Solicit people’s feedback.  I can almost guarantee you’ll enjoy the process, and worst case, you can always go back to your original Slide-ument style (Garr Reynold’s word, not mine).

But I predict that once you start down this path, you will begin to make a name for yourself as someone who “gets it” and has increasing “presence” within your organization.

Good luck, and let me know how it goes!

Social Media guru JD Lasica interviewed me a few months back at Girls In Tech’s Santa Cruz retreat about the topic of women and public speaking.  This is a subject near to my heart, and I’m on a mission to make sure women become more prominent players in the conference speaking circuit.  So please enjoy, and if you think it’s helpful, pass it along!

JD’s blog is always filled with interesting interviews (I’m obviously the exception. ), definitely worth bookmarking.

Cheers,

B

In the wake of this week’s F8 Conference, where Facebook gathered an ungodly number of frothing developers to talk about the fate of the social web, we got to see another example of Mark Zuckerberg on stage.

As Kara Swisher has so infamously joked, Mark is not exactly known for his on stage antics, so much as the news he delivers when he takes the stage.  And having watched him for a few years, I have come to some conclusions about him as a presenter.

It seems very clear that Mark is a very guarded person (understatement), and doesn’t actually enjoy cutting lose on camera, on stage, or really anywhere in the public eye.  And by “cutting lose” I don’t mean getting busted smoking a joint via someone’s cell phone camera, but showing us the real guy behind the stiff guardedness that characterizes his public interactions.

We seem to have a hard time reconciling what he looks like – jeans, hooded sweatshirt, his very winning smile, etc – and the very formal, clipped language he uses to speak to reporters, audiences, and even his own webcam (thank GOD for the outtakes at the end).

But what we saw at this year’s F8 was a far less awkward “Zuck,” as his friends call him.  He’s coming into his own, and is much more confident and even stately on stage.  But still, he gets heat for not being dazzling.  Why?

Well, I think at the core of all of this, we all have a Geek/Wunderkind Founder archetype in our minds that we love to imagine – self deprecating, nerdy, nice, funny, hyper in his own way.  This is not Mark Zuckerberg.  He may be young, but he is intense and deadly serious about the business he’s building.

(One of my favorite moments of him on camera … not in a good way … is when he was interviewing with 60 minutes, and the interviewer compared him to the legendary founders of Google.  His silence prompted to interviewer to say, “do you have a reaction to that?” And he deadpans, expressionless: “Well is that a question or a statement?”)

But here’s the thing: Mark Zuckerberg is not the Geek/Wunderkind Founder archetype we wish he were. Sorry.  The good news is that he’s getting more confident and competent as a speaker.  The bad news is, we’ll have to get our Lovable, Scruffy Nerd needs met elsewhere.

It really is the ultimate irony… Zuckerberg has become a gazillionaire by building a website where people go to express themselves in full.  Yet he may be one of the least expressive 25 year olds I’ve ever seen.

But no matter.  Judging by this video, there is an army of personalities inside Facebook that are compelling as hell on camera, and bring their glorious levity, excitement, and frankly unapologetic geek-thusaism to the business.

In my previous post, I applauded the risk taken by Nike in the controversial ad featuring the voice of Tiger’s deceased father, because I’ve always believed that the only way to win back hearts and minds (and ultimately sponsorship deals) was to take us on a real and believable journey into self discovery and healing with Tiger Woods.  The ad, while creepy as hell, was unflinchingly real. His ESPN interview prior to the Masters seemed also to point to a real and authentic comeback.

But the big critical success factor for his comeback was always this: He actually has to change.  For reals, as my daughter says.

The final press conference with Tiger Woods unfortunately revealed what may be the “for reals” of Tiger Woods.  Words like “petulant” and “arrogant” are being tossed about the Interwebs with good reason. In fact, I’d like to add “flippant” if I may.

Whatever self awareness and humility he had going into the tournament, they’ve been shelved.  Maybe he’s tired of being a punching bag and taking his lumps.  Maybe he feels entitled (remember where that got him?) to better treatment by the press.  Maybe he’s just stopped caring.  Whatever the reason, the underpinnings of a credible comeback have fallen apart.

But maybe that’s ok.  Maybe people will still love watching him, much like Giants fans loved watching Barry Bonds, despite a well known, ahem, ego problem.  But I can tell you this – there is a price to be paid for arrogance, ego and dishonesty, and I think it will be next to impossible to rebuild the empire that was once Tiger Woods.

For further analysis, today’s Huffington Post had a great article that highlights his two biggest “misses” in the wake of the Masters – 1) his failure to acknowledge Phil Mickelson and 2) his defensiveness about his temper.

With that, let’s close the books on Tiger shall we?  At this point, Jesse James’ issues seem less annoying than Tiger’s.

As I blogged recently, I believe that the only way for Tiger to reclaim his vast empire of sponsorships is to take the public on his very private journey to recovery.  Based on his initial press conference, I was pretty convinced that this was advice Team Tiger wasn’t interested in hearing. But in light of his other recent interviews, especially his press conference earlier this week, I think they are back on track, and advertiser Nike puts a finer point on it with the release of this new ad.

Here’s my take: Is it creepy? Yep.

Is it intrusive and slightly manipulative? Yep.

BUT, does it feel REAL and authentic? Absolutely.

And that is exactly what will win back hearts and minds which ultimately wins back sponsors.  We didn’t say the path would be easy, comfortable or private.  But the good news is, Tiger is solidly on track to become a tragic, multidimensional hero.  Looking back, I’m surprised we bought the cardboard, one dimensional, squeaky clean version to begin with. But we wanted to believe it.  And now we need to believe something different.

On CBS’s The Early Show today, Barbara Lippert of Adweek gives a fantastic interview, and sums this up in tight, memorable terms.  For Nike, Tiger Woods is a brand that is “too big to fail,” and their approach to rebuilding his brand is spot on in my opinion.

The ad does something profound – while most of us don’t have a sexual addiction, we’ve all done things that were not in alignment with our own sense of integrity, and we’ve all heard the voice of our parents (living or dead) asking us, “Is this really who I raised you to be?”  Tiger’s silence and his painfully real facial expressions do something powerful – they give us insight into his very real pain, and help us to see ourselves in his struggles.

This was a huge risk for Nike, given the creepiness of resurrecting a deceased loved one, but in my opinion a risk well worth taking.

In his introduction of President Obama on this historic day of reckoning with America’s health care system, Joe Biden stated on mic, what many of us were thinking: “This is a big f-cking deal.”

In a ship run as tightly as Team Obama (not flawless, but definitely well run), it’s hard to explain Joe Biden’s gaffe situation.  He has had a distinguished career, having served his country well for nearly 40 years. But the fact remains: Watching the Vice President speak can be cringe-inducing.  It’s not quite at the Dan Quayle level, but it’s getting close.

In my mind, there are really only 2 explanations for this.

1) Option 1: Team Obama is all over this. One possibility is that Obama’s people are not only aware of the problem, but are working very diligently with him to give him coaching, feedback and guidance early and often.  Hence the tendency toward more scripted opportunities, and off camera interactions.  If this is the case, then we may be seeing that rare example of “The Utterly Uncoachable.”  This would reveal a deeply troubling self awareness issue on the part of Vice President Biden.

2) Option 2: Team Obama is in denial. This seems extremely unlikely, but I suppose that it is possible that no one wants to tell Vice President Biden that his baby is ugly, as it were, and that he’s just too dangerous to be mic’d. 

Given what he told Katie Couric about not wanting to compromise his authentic voice for carefully scripted messaging, I’m pretty sure Option 1 is our winner.

The Diagnosis.

Based on what I can tell, Joe is a very, very charismatic man in the right circumstances.  The confidence, warmth and ease that often backfires on him in public settings is the same warmth, confidence and ease that has probably helped him a great deal in one-on-one situations and in closed door situations.  I also believe that Joe Biden really enjoys his opportunities on stage.  I would almost wager a bet that he enjoys it so much, he tells his staff “I’ve got this. Not gonna be one of your clones, thanks.”  But maybe not. What do I know? I’ve never met the man.

But I do know that Joe Biden is likeable enough, and God knows he has all of the right experience.  He just seems to be playing it all a bit too fast and loose, failing to think through things before blurting them out – the classic hallmark of someone who is used to winning people over with relative ease.  Could there be a more polar opposite than President Obama who measures every word before he allows it out of his mouth?

The big question I have is this: how does Vice President Biden react to his own gaffes?  It is entirely possible that he is overwhelmed by shame and embarrassment, and vows each time to do better.  It is also possible that he thinks “Oh well. I’m just being myself.  Tomorrow’s a new day.”  There is a universe of difference there.  If the latter is the case, we could be in for quite a few more YouTube gems, I’m sorry to say.

The Prescription.

If I were in charge of all things Joe Biden, I would assign a Chief Media Coach to be his shadow, his confidante, his conscience and his “tough love” resource before and after each and every public appearance.  But given how Team Obama rolls, I’m fairly certain said Media Coach is already in place, and very likely pulling his or her hair out, strand by strand.

If I were in that person’s shoes, I would take a two pronged approach:

Step One, do all of the obvious prep on issues, key messages, Q&A.

Step Two, do the hard work of digging deep into each of his public gaffes and figure out what is causing Vice President Biden to get so lost in the moment.  The common denominator of each and every misstep seems to be exuberance, enthusiasm and passion.  What is it about these triggers that creates such a disconnect between brain and mouth?

I generally like to think the best of people.  I have to believe that when Joe Biden was talking to Katie Couric, he knew that FDR didn’t “go on television” to talk about the stock market crash of 1929.  In fact, it wasn’t FDR but Hoover, who dealt with the early days of the Depression… and not well, I might add, and 1929 was hardly the “break out year” for television.  But Biden got so caught up trying to make his point about leadership during a crisis that he spoke before he had the chance to tap the catalogue of knowledge in his brain.

If you can nail the mystery of what happens inside his mind when this exuberance hits, the rest will come with practice and further coaching work.  Self awareness is a powerful weapon against public screw ups.

Step Two is by far the most difficult.  It takes a very special personality match to make a difference with a client like Joe Biden, given the level of introspection and vulnerability required.  What kind of person he would best work with, I can’t begin to guess, but I have to imagine that given the results thus far, whatever coaching he’s getting, it’s 100% focused on Step 1 and not Step 2.

But before you go writing Biden off, remember – anything is possible. Even health care reform.